Argue; verb: Give reasons or cite evidence in support of an idea,
action, or theory, typically with the aim of persuading others to share one's
view; persuade someone to do or not to do (something) by giving reasons;
exchange or express diverging or opposite views, typically in a heated or angry
way.
Lick; verb: Pass the tongue over (something), typically in order to
taste, moisten, or clean it; (of a flame, wave, or breeze) move lightly and
quickly like a tongue; defeat (someone) comprehensively; noun: An act of
licking something with the tongue; a smart blow.
Squint; verb: Look at someone or something with one or both eyes partly
closed in an attempt to see more clearly or as a reaction to strong light; (of
a person's eye) have a deviation in the direction of its gaze.
Any Other Name
When you spend every day
with someone who is larger than life, do
you too become large or do you remain
small?
“Hey, hey, hello this is Bob.” The voice on the other end of the line is
none other than Bob. In my profession I
work with a wide variety of BOB. Bob, Bobby,
Bo, Bubba; six out of ten times I answer the phone the male voices on the other
side say, “This is Bob.” The “hey,
hey, hello” made recognizing which Bob it is on the line, undeniable.
“Bob,Bobby Boy,” I say back to him.
He doesn’t hesitate to ask, “How the hell are you today?”
“Now you know when I fell from heaven, I realized I was in
Hell deep and wide.”
Laughter roars on the other end of the line, “You know it
girl! Let me talk to Don.”
In my mind I tumble around Donald, Don Wan, Don the Donut
King, Dawn the insurance representative that speaks her name so fast it sounds
like Don… “Hold please,” and I quickly
press the button to page Don to the phone.
Don the Donut King, you ask? You
have to be here to know the story of the Donut King, so I will tell you. Don
the Donut King, is a guy who knows all donuts, and corrects you if you call twists,
bear claws or mistake Cherry for strawberry filled. How does he do it??? No one knows the difference between cherry
and strawberry filled until the first lick, but Don the Donut King, he knows at
a glance. He is a regular around here,
and brings donuts when he needs something from us. I never asked, but I think he is like an
alcoholic with donuts. He would rather
be a social donut eater than eat them by himself, or he would have to admit he
has a donut problem. He is thin as a
pine tree and I think he can eat all the donuts he wants, but must be vain to
hide his problem.
Back to Bob, Bobby Boy.
Bob is the kind of man who fills up a room by just his voice. His presence is not so dominating. He is about 5 ft. 10 inches tall, not exactly
short, but not quite tall either. Medium
build. He might not even be noticed in a crowd.
When he opens his mouth, he is large.
He is huge. He thrills everyone
who hears his voice. It is booming and
encouraging. I have seen him with his
children. Tiny toddlers they are, but
when he talks to them, it is as if his words scoop them up and catapult them in
the direction they need to go. The kids
look like they realize the power their dad possesses and want to win his
approval, and inside they know nothing they do will disappoint him, so they do
anything he asks.
The phone rings again. No, “hello,” no, “hey this is Bob.”
On
the other end, “ Does Ray drive a maroon truck?”
“Yes.”
“ Why did he just pull up then drive away?”
I have no answer. “I
am here and you are there, you tell me.”
“No. You call him on his cell phone and tell him I am here
with two other guys and we saw him drive up and drive away. Does he think he is in the wrong place?”
Again I have no answer. I want to argue this point with Bob,
but I hesitate and Bob is quick, “Put me on hold and call him on his cell
phone. Let him know I am standing here with two guys waiting on him.”
“Ok, Hold please.”
And this is my day.
I think of him sometimes, another Bob. I know he wonders about it. We never talk since the time his mom and his
boss simultaneously tried to get us to date, constantly inviting me to
meetings, fish fries, and other gatherings I normally did not attend. Of course we would talk, but only when
encouraged by his mother and boss. We already had “the talk.” It was brief. We were walking together on a job site walk-
through (another invite to something I normally did not attend) As he pointed
out this and that, he knew it was just for looks. We talked.
He asked. I said no. Why?
We work together. I wanted to
keep working together. I like Bob. I wanted to keep liking Bob. He said he understood and that was the end of
it. We humored his mother and his boss,
but at the end of the night, goodbye were the last words we said to each other. This was nearly fifteen years ago. We still work together.
Bob got married. He
has three beautiful boys. He named one
with a name I suggested as my favorite.
I am extremely happy for him. His
oldest boy plays piano, opposite of his jock father. He goes to job sites with his father and
wants to know how things work but I do not think his hand will ever know a
splinter. His brothers want to ride the
heavy equipment trucks and watch the earth move, they will get plenty of
splinters.
I know from experience you cannot love the kids without
loving the parents. Love sometimes
cannot be contained no matter how much you try.
I tried to force love and it never came.
Whenever love comes, I like it to be simple. I do not like love when it is
confining. Love has not found me in a
while.
The next call suggests we go to lunch. I agree and soon I am out the door to meet my girlfriend. At the restaurant I want something new. As I am reading the menu someone walking by bumps my arm. I squint
to see who it might be, the stranger is apologetic and introduces himself, “Hi,
I’m Bob.”
